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Hollywood Potato Chip

by The Vandals

/
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credits

released June 29, 2004

Produced by Warren Fitzgerald

Mixed by Jerry Finn

Engineered by Greg Koller and Kevin Augunas at SoundCastle Studios
and Jon St. James at F-1 Studios.

The Vandals are:
Joe Escalante - Bass
Josh Freese - Drums and Cymbals
Warren Fitzgerald - Guitar
Dave Quackenbush - Vocals

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: How They Getcha'
Deception they lie and propaganda-ize.
They prey on weakness from the seekers of a better fucking life and bleed them dry.
Promise and faith to fucking hook the bait till they got you where they want you
and pull your strings and taunt you every time.
I call shenanigans, it's Un-American lies, lies, lies.
Someone should do something, a day of reckoning.
It's a lie. That's how they get you.

They said they knew my fate and I'd be great and fine,
and rich in time, stay on the line. I'm gifted and one of a kind.

Bullshit! And scammed, bamboozled, swindled, hoodwinked from a false
and phony psychic who has robbed me and dishonored me with a crime.

I want my money back from that clairvoyant hack.
I've seen the future and it's my foot in your ass.
It's a lie. That's how they get you.
It's a lie. That's how they get you.
Track Name: Don't Stop Me Now
[Originally by Queen]

Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world it's turning inside out Yeah!
I'm floating around in ecstasy
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time

I'm a shooting star leaping through the skies
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me

I'm burning through the skies Yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man of you

Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time)
Don't stop me now (Yes I'm having a good time)
I don't want to stop at all

I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars
On a collision course
I am a satellite I'm out of control
I am a sex machine ready to reload
Like an atom bomb about to
Oh oh oh oh oh explode

I'm burning through the skies Yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic woman out of you

Don't stop me don't stop me don't stop me
Hey hey hey!
Don't stop me don't stop me
Ooh ooh ooh (I like it)
Don't stop me have a good time good time
Don't stop me don't stop me
Ooh ooh Alright
I'm burning through the skies Yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic woman of you

Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time
Just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time)
Don't stop me now (Yes I'm having a good time)
I don't wanna stop at all

La la la la laaaa
La la la la
La la laa laa laa laaa
La la laa la la la la la laaa hey!!
Track Name: My Neck, My Back
I'm a gonna get my worker's comp check.
I'm a gonna buy you lobster food.
I'm a gonna drop some bricks on my head.
I'm a gonna be laid up for good.

My neck, my back. My neck, and my back hurt.
I had another accident, someone tell the management.
I'll be in my kiddie pool recovering.
I'll get my tools another time.
If my spine, if it ever realigns.

My neck and back they really hurt.
And I will never recover. And I will never recover.
And I will never recover. And I will never recover.

I'm a gonna get my worker's comp check.
I'm a gonna buy you lobster food.
I'm a gonna drop some bricks on my head.
I'm a gonna be laid up for good.

Compassionate society has a whole variety of safety nets and benefits.
For anyone that's ever been a victim of negligence, stress, fatigue or recklessness.
Offer me a settlement. Just offer me a settlement.

Cuz I gotta stay at home.
My neck and back is nearly broke.
I kind of won the lottery.
I'll take what they are offering.
Vicodin and Ambien and watch a lot of television.

My neck and back they really hurt.
And I will never recover. And I will never recover.
And I will never recover. And I will never recover.

I'm a gonna get my worker's comp check.
I'm a gonna buy you lobster food.
I'm a gonna drop some bricks on my head.
I'm a gonna be laid up for good.
Track Name: Be A Good Robot
Acquiesce is to the plea.
The decree is clear and binding.
It's required that you integrate into the uniform and grand design.
Just go along.
You can't prolong it.
The power it is way too strong.
In the throng you'll stay abide and you'll obey,
while waiting for instructions that your master will convey.

Be a good robot.
It's easier- and if you're not.
There are many ways to punish any strays.
Be a good Ro- Be a good robot.

You think you're immune to the commune's unbridled coaxing pressure.
Pierce your nose. Wear different clothes.
And indicate that you will never be one of them, but that's how they win.
They make you think that you have chose but secretly the master knows.
It's part of the plan they guide your hand.
But you did not decide and unwittingly divide.

Be a good robot.
It's easier- and if you're not.
There are many ways to punish any strays.
Be a good Ro- Be a good robot.

Be a good Ro-Be a good robot.
It's easier- and if you're not.
There are many ways to punish any strays.

You like it, you'll buy it. It has been decided.
By powers greater than average men can comprehend.
Just go along. You can't prolong it.
The power it is way too strong.
Just go along the silence says that you can concur.
They make you sick then sell the cure.

Be a good robot.
It's easier- and if you're not.
There are many ways to punish any strays.
Track Name: Manimal
I'm trying to be civilized and need you girl to realize,
my higher mind runs counter to my procreative self.
Although it's not my doing, nature has its way insuring
that the species will be fruitful, no matter how I try to fight it.

God's the one who made me like this- understand I'm innocent.
The drive is stronger than I am- I'm just a man, I'm just a man.

She means nothing to me, I swear.
I'm just pulled in two directions by the male condition.
There's no excuses, only reasons for what has brought us here.
I need to make it clear, so you can understand.
It's part of nature's plan. I'm just a man, I'm just a man.

It's hard to do the right thing, the hormones screaming,
pleading- with the need to seed and no relief because there's always more.
One hundred million daily, manufactured and ready for the journey to conception.
Not unlike a loaded gun.

God's the one who made me like this- understand I'm innocent.
The drive is stronger than I am- I'm just a man, I'm just a man.

She means nothing to me, I swear.
I'm just pulled in two directions by the male condition.
There's no excuses, only reasons for what has brought us here.
I need to make it clear, so you can understand.
It's part of nature's plan. I'm just a man, I'm just a man.
Track Name: My Special Moment
This is my special moment, don't question me or disagree.
I know that I have earned this, damnit I deserve this-
do not fuck with me- it's my special time.

And I'll seize this opportunity and show them what it means to me
to be king shit for a minute then just disappear.
And with passion and/or talent, self righteously and gallantly,
I'll slip away and everyone will know it- this is my special moment.

My shitty life has lead me to this perfect minute.
Remember how I did this, taking care of business for once...
they'll see me get it right. Kicking screaming,
fighting for my life- I have decided it is time.

This is my special moment, don't question me or disagree.
I know that I have earned this, damnit I deserve this-
do not fuck with me- it's my special time.

Oh God!

I'm doing it for real, I'm doing really doing it-
reaching for the skies and gouging out the eyes of anyone who dares to interfere.
Conquering the fear, and showing that the time is mine.

This is my special moment, don't question me or disagree.
I know that I have earned this, damnit I deserve this-
do not fuck with me- it's my special time,
do not fuck with me- it's my special time,
do not fuck with me- it's my special time.
Track Name: Designed By Satan
Talking board- misunderstood.
What looked good on paper even looked better on wood.
A card game way out of control.
Divining what's to be while tempting fortune with the soul.
The table tilts the lights go dim and then the fun begins.
We stay up late and it's all great, The Parker Brother's sin, can't be undone.

Designed by Satan.
It's all in fun.
Designed by Satan.

John Edwards is much to blame.
The Renaissance is all but Fair, they all bring on the same.
When will the dirt bags ever learn?
For every Slayer melody a thousand more will burn.

A thousand miles below the floor where screams cannot be heard.
And those that don't belive don't care don't recognize the word, until he's won

Designed by Satan
It's all in fun
Designed by Satan

Let's review the rules of the game
Innpcent flirtation can lead to eternal flames.
Why chance it? Why pick up the deck?
When Chutes N' Ladders kicks much ass
And won't send you to heck.
Track Name: Atrocity
It has occurred to me the reason fro my apathy,
you think that I don't give a shit,
it's just the opposite.

Loss of humanity, suffering, and atrocity.
I'm gonna join the fight, lets get this party started right.

Something's always someone's problem,
problems always never seem to end,
sometimes they just have to end.

Front page, people full of rage.
Trapped in their world, like monkeys in a cage.
I'm building a bomb, I am I'm building a bomb.
Don't cry, not like you weren't gonna die.
If we all go at once we won't have to say goodbye.
I'm building a bomb, I am I'm building a bomb.

I got to get me some weapons grade uranium,
just a couple little things stand between me and my dream.

And when were dead and gone,
no one left to carry on,
who's first the buy the farm?
The list is as long as my arm.

Something's always someone's problem,
problems always never seem to end,
sometimes they just have to end.

Front page, people full of rage.
Trapped in their world, like monkeys in a cage.
I'm building a bomb, I am I'm building a bomb.
Don't cry, not like you weren't gonna die.
If we all go at once we won't have to say goodbye.
I'm building a bomb, I am I'm building a bomb.

BOOM.
Track Name: Dig A Hole
It's a sacrilege to question and thinking is a crime,
"Let the 'tards eat twinkies" is the mantra of our time.
Fuck no it isn't who you are, you're only what you've bought.
With Teletubbies teaching toddlers take it down a notch.
The glory of misinformed who never leave the couch.
Crying when their favorite guy is voted from the house.
The future can't be better but the children they won't mind,
just give them shiny objects and tell them never try. Never try.

You think it's stupid now?
You'll see, we're only borderline retarded compared to where we'll be.
The future generation has their work cut out for them.
Keep lowering the bar and dig a hole to put it in.
Dig a hole. Dig a hole.

The dumbing down of dummies in a shameful, spinning spiral.
With puppet masters mastering with plausible denial.
They give us what we want, but make fuck sure we're addicted.
To sugar coated fluffy air and guilty pleasure sickness.

We're fat and lazy mongoloids on pink electric scooters.
With chaffing thighs we supersize and only later realize-
we're cattle for the slaughter and laughing on the way.
Deal with it tomorrow not today, not today.

You think it's stupid now?
You'll see, we're only borderline retarded compared to where we'll be.
The future generation has their work cut out for them.
Keep lowering the bar and dig a hole to put it in.
Dig a hole. Dig a hole.

Take a pill it disappears, while loafing through our golden years.
And pass the torch and let them sort the shit we left piled past their ears.
Our children's children's children in the tradition of our lives
will deal with it tomorrow and never try, never try.

You think it's stupid now?
You'll see, we're only borderline retarded compared to where we'll be.
The future generation has their work cut out for them.
Keep lowering the bar and dig a hole to put it in.
Dig a hole. Dig a hole.
Track Name: Don't Make Me Get My Fat, Lazy Ass Off This Couch
I know it's not my fault I've been held back, under attack by parents,
teachers, lawyers, past employers, that hold me down.
My efforts all disgraced and criticized, thrown in my face.
They're only joy to plot and foil my conquests, and hold me down.
I hope they're happy now.

I blame the people who are in front of me,
deliberately they block me from my dreams and progress.
I just let them win.
And never try again.

I've never stood a chance.
My bets laid plans we're quickly dashed by cheaters, theives and squealers-
glory stealers, that hold me down.
I hope they're happy now.

I blame the people who are in front of me,
deliberately they block me from my dreams and progress.
I just let them win.
And never try again.

I gave it one last shot,
they knocked me down and ripped me off again they win, I quit.
They won't admit it, they hold me down.
I hope they're happy now.

I blame the people who are in front of me,
deliberately they block me from my dreams and progress.
I just let them win.
And never try again.
Track Name: I Guess I'll Take You Back
The reason that I'm calling you is to let you know I thought it through,
and after much debate in fact I guess I'll take you back.

I've heard from friends you've moved around
and maybe you have settled down
so when you get this message please call me back.

It's been a rough few years for me,
I moved back with my family,
but I'll still take you back.

And maybe it's too late to call or maybe it's the alcohol, but I think I want you back.
I guess I'll take you back.

I realize it's been a while you might be married or have a child.
So give me your address and I can help you pack.

I need you worse now than before,
I'll offer you the chance once more.
Cuz everything considered, guess I'll take you back.

I know that things ended bad,
but let's stop living in the past.
I think I want you back.

And let's forget the things we said,
and start again with clearer heads.
I guess I want you back.
I guess I'll take you back.

Please don't make me ask again,
my calling card is nearly spent.
And life without you has been so bad.
I don't require apologizes- just think of what I'm offering

I think I want you back.
I guess I'll take you back.
Track Name: Christian Or Canadian
It couldn't be worse. From chorus to verse.
It sounds like Korn but a little bit worse.
Is it Christian or Canadian? Guess!
On 90.7 it's bad 311.
Evidently it's a hit. But it stinks to high heaven.
Is it Christian or Canadian? Guess!

Play the game that isn't fun,
Can't be enjoyed, and can't be won.
Someone get me a gun.

Canadian or Christian
Canadian

It sounds kind of emo, or not so tight screamo.
And he keeps saying 'Him', so I'm gonna say homo.
Is it Christian or Canadian? Guess!
He's wearing a sweater, like '98 Vedder.
But it's 2002, and the song could be better.
Is it Christian or Canadian? Guess!

Play the game that isn't fun,
Can't be enjoyed, and can't be won.
Someone get me a gun.

Canadian or Christian
Canadian
Get me a gun

It's said that those that cannot do
Will end up teaching stuff to you,
Or some of them find God instead or better yet the border.

Canadian or Christian
Canadian

I cannot quite place it. It sounds like Ocasek.
But 20 years later, so you might as well face it.
Is it Christian or Canadian? Guess!
It's so non-commitish, like light Reel Big Fish.
Or rock en Espanol, translated into English.
Is it Christian or Canadian? Guess!

Play the game that isn't fun,
Can't be enjoyed, and can't be won.
Someone get me a gun!
Someone get me a gun!

Canadian or Christian
Canadian
Track Name: I Am Crushed.
Oh, I am crushed. And I am devastated.
And contemplating suicide but I don't have the nerve.
And what's the rush? It all should end real soon.
And so I'll just keep waiting and I'll listen to them say,
"You've got your life in front you," and so I must reply.
"That is just more bad news cuz I'd really rather die."
Than limp around in agony, reliving all the tragedies and face another day.

Oh I am crushed. And I am devastated.
And it's something I can't name and it ain't going away soon.

I've learned so much. And I cannot explain it.
It seems like there's a purpose but I still don't understand.
But that's my luck. So I'll just wait in pain.
And though it doesn't help I have to listen to them say,
"keep looking on the bright side," but that just hurts my eyes.
And if you really care then you would simply let me die.
And leave here with some dignity but it just keeps on making me face another day.

Oh I am crushed. And I am devastated.
And it's something I can't name and it ain't going away soon.